Old X-mas Toys O' Death

[RaTix]

How about ShrinkyDinks. I'm not sure if they are still around, but I remember having to heat the oven to like 400 degrees to shrink those fuckers.

But I have to agree with Phoenix and Drizzle on this. Thin the herd. Its called natural selection, the stupid ppl should die for stupid things, it only helps to increase the overall IQ of the human race gene pool.

those things, if thrown high enough picked up some speed on their way down----and somebody could easily walk in the path without knowing any better! What an idea.

I could start running down the street and smack into a brick wall full stride and hurt myself real bad too. You don't see me doing it. why.. I KNOW BETTER.
Hell If I can survive bottle rocket and roman candle wars I'm sure some kids could manage the lawn darts. I'm talking the huge 16oz rockets too. Nothing like an empty cardboard tube taped up at one end to transform your upward rocket fun into a shoulder harnessed Anti-Tank/Personell/NeighborsHouseYouHate/SlowKidInTheNeighborhood instrument of destruction.

[Dioxin]

damn ratix, your post reminded me of an animated gif I've got saved. Some kid lights a roman candle against his crotch, but instead of shooting out, it backfires and there's just a huge colorful explosion. Too big to upload to my file hosting though :(

[Zabka]

I totally remember shrinky dinks. In fact, remember that band Sugar Ray that had some hits in the late 90s? They were a bit of a hardcore band before they sold out in the LA scene--and their original name was shrinky dink. But they were told they had to change the name.

The problem with lawn darts is that the person they hurt may not be the idiot---just an innocent. meanwhile the idiot is the kid launching them into a crowded playground. I make no excuses for people not taking responsibility for their actions---but lawn dart victims were probably not the person doing the throwing!

Bottle rocket wars. Man fireworks are so dangerous. I knew a kid who took apart a bunch of m-80s and put the powder into a spent CO2 cartridge (the kind used for CO2 cars in wood shop or for pellet guns). he put a fuse in it, and lit it. The thing blew all the fingers off his hands. He had to have toes sewn on his hand. Idiot.

[Deslock]

Exactly.

We used to have full on bb gun wars(yes, we were smart enough to wear eye protection, as none of us were stupid enough to want to be shot in the eye with a BB) and we rode our bikes and skateboards around without...........

GASP!

helmets.

I had several micronauts toys (search ebay) that had hard not soft missiles on them. Guess what I was smart enough not to aim them either in my eyes, nor my mouth. The Darwin Awards are there for a reason.

Because of stupid people out there, the Superman toy cape we sell actually has a disclaimer that says:

"Toy cape will not allow child to actually fly."

DUH!!!!

Or the disclaimer on the latest Barbie says:

"Doll does not actually dance and sing".

DUH!!!

Or on the clothes iron we sell that says:

"do not iron clothes while wearing them"

If you are actually that stupid, you need to be castrated so that you never, ever have children. EVER.

[THeDRiZZLe]

There is that group that group affiliated with the Darwin awards that gives out the most ridiculous disclaimer of the year or award, a few years ago it was from a glue gun and it said "do not use to dry hair". Yeah...here's your sign!

We used to do the CO2 cartiridge trick all the time, but we always made sure we had a really long fuse and we ran like hell because the shrapnel from those things can be nasty. Draino bombs, potatoe motars, homemade napalm...I grew up next a large woods with a bunch of other military brats. Hell our dads supplied us with most of our explosives, but our dads also took the time to make sure we knew to be careful. Actually, I think dad's exact words were "if you fuck up and blow your fingers off mom's gonna find out I gave you this shit and I'm screwed!" The best was still bottlerocket /roman candle wars out on lake Waconia in speed boats...get a bunch of football, hockey and baseball catchers gear, always some form of eye protection, and just drive around the lake basically dogfighting with speed boats.

Damn, reading back on that...I shouldn't be alive should I? Eh..who wants to live forever! It's better than dying of ass cancer.