Tales of the technically inept

[RaTix]

Actually, Blind customers are not that uncommon. I get them once in a while. They might not be 100% blind, or they use special voice software that dictates what the cursor is over. So really, your just a heartless bastard that hung up on a blind man, lol.

The main reason I'm posting here though is, a customer I have today has Virut. YAY!! She's using an Aircard (WWAN) to connect to Verizon, and it doesn't work in safe mode (w/networking of course). Can get connected in normal mode, but it of course keeps locking up after a few mins. Plus, she has a shitty netbook, and thus no CD ROM drive for repair install, boot loader cleaners, or even a format and reinstall if I got desperate enough. NEVER GET FOOLED INTO GETTING A NETBOOK!!!!

Got pasted the ComboFix warning by downloading CF on my computer, renaming, then transferring over to her computer. Found nothing though.

Running An AVG removal tool for Virut to see if it works. Will try to just use Dr Web Cure It if it doesn't find anything.


To keep this on topic though, I do have another "retarded customer"moment to share.
Last week or the week before had a customer I was helping. Asked her if she had a wireless or hardwire connection to her modem/router. She said it was hardwired directly. Perfect as it's easier to get connected then.
Well.. after about a few mins of troubleshooting the connection and still getting a 169.254.xxx.xxx. IP, I had her go into and check the Network Connections. Says cable unplugged on the LAN connection. I asked her to disconnect and reconnect the ethernet cable from both the PC and the Router to make sure it was connected properly. ... ..... ....
"You mean the black wire?"
Is it the wire that connects to your modem?
"No"
Where does that connect to?
"The power strip"
It will be the other wire then.
"What other wire?"

** FACEPALM / SLAMHEAD / CURSESUNDERBREATH **

Do you normally have another wire that connects to the Modem?
"No just this one"
Riiiiight, so you connect wirelessly then.
"Well there's a wire coming out of the computer, so I considered that hardwired"

** MORECURSINGUNDERBREATH **

No, that's for the power, not your internet connection.


Fast forward this train wreck to when I ask her if she has a network cable so she CAN connect directly hardwired.

"Is this it?"
Ma'am i cannot see what your holder, can you describe it to me
"It's yellow. Would it be a yellow wire"
*How incredibly unhelpful* Ma'am it could be yellow, blue, black, any color really. Does it look like a large phone jack?
"No.. well.. maybe.. it has like 8 wires"
** Ok so this doesn't sound like it, right? Wrong. I had to then ask her if the connector looked like a phone jack but larger, with wires connecting to that, that then go into a solid single wire.
"Yes"

Fucking Finally. And this is about 60 mins in now. Of course, it wasn't over yet. She then was unable to find any port on her computer that it would fit into. I was unable to even look up her laptop model to find the specs to direct her int he right place. She was convinced that she did not have an Ethernet port. Despite the fact that in the Network Connections, and device manager, it clearly shows she has one.
At this point, 90 mins, I gave up and told her to call her ISP and get connected, then to call me back.



BTW, AVG's Virut Removal Tool was a bust. Trying to download the Dr. Web now. If this thing can stop locking up on the download.

[norm]

Well that frankly sucks ass Ratix. Good luck with this. I don't even know what I would have done if this had happened to a netbook.

[Deslock]

At least RaTix, thank God you know your shit.

It can be soo hard to explain.

I once had this customer call me and ask me why his surround system wasn't working, Like I could magically "see" through the phone and know how his wires were hooked up.

And router problems...Good F'n luck with that. Try explaining to a "redneck" why he's getting a cascade overflow on his router, due his port settings.

There are some people, that should never, ever be allowed to have a 'puter.

I have forbidden both my wife and my dear Mother to ever, and I mean EVER, get in the registry for ANY reason. If it fucks up, just let me know..Don't change ANYTHING!, until I can see what's going on.

My wife added two unneeded toolbars, just by "clicking" on shit without reading it first.

So now I get calls about "I got this message saying my 'puter was slow, and this program that popped said it up can "fix it"...Should I click it?"

NOOO !!!!

LOL !!!

"I got this pop up saying my Javascript is not up to date, I need to do a re-install by some website I don't know, should I click it ?"

NOOO !!!!

I had idiots asking me what HDMI meant. And what the difference between "S-Video" and "Component" meant, over the phone.

And my fave:

This guy called me asking why his 'puter wasn't working. I asked him "Is it hooked up properly ?"

"Yes."

"The power cord is plugged in and everything is hooked up right?"

"Yes"

"Huh, that's odd"

"Yep".

"Are you sure everything is hooked up right ?"

"Yep"

"Wow, that is odd"

"Yes, because the the power is out here, and I wanted to get online."

*Facepalm*....

[EagleOne]

I have this Boss who is a pretty good guy all around but one day I walked into his office and saw him staring at his monitor which was turned on it's side.

"What's with the monitor sideways"

"Well some dumbfuck sent me this drawing of the ship but I can't read it because it's side ways, there's no flip it button"

"Correct me if I'm wrong but you did go to the naval academy right"

"Yeah but what the fuck has that got to do with it"

I turned the monitor right side up and said "There is a button here with a circular arrow, it says rotate, so who the dumbfuck again"

Well good thing he started laughing and said "Get the fuck out of here, and don't mention it to anyone"

[keyser28146]

You had me at "Naval Academy".

[Deslock]

Not tech related...well, kinda..

No shit..True story..

When I was a manager at Lowes Home Improvement Warehouse, I was going up to the service desk to pick up my strays, I got in on this gem:

There was a guy at the service desk very, very mad, and claiming that Lowe's had ruined his house.

It seems that he had the old iron and copper pipes and wanted to replace them with PVC, and CPVC, which is perfectly understandable. He claimed that he'd removed al the old pipes, put in all the new pipes and when completely finished, went out and turned his water back on at the main.

And when he did so, all of the pipes in his house EXPLODED, spraying water everywhere, and doing God only knows amount of damage to everything in his house.

We were all completely baffled. Never ever had I heard such a thing before...

So I asked him, "So what you're saying is that you removed all your old plumbing, replaced them with new pipes, primed and glued them together, and your pipes exploded? That just doesn't make any sense..."

He looks at me plain faced..then kinda quietly asks...

"Oh...I was supposed to glue them together..?"

*Facepalm*

Oh the joys of working retail.

[RaTix]

LMAO. I have a similar, non-tech related incident that happened when I was a manager as Friendly's.

A customer called up the restaurant and said she had a complaint about her food. She said she was in earlier that evening and had the cod dinner platter. After she got home, well.... She said she had shit all over her bathroom and it was because of the food. Not just gave her the runs mind you, she said she literally shit all over the bathroom. The floors, walls, everything. Her pipes exploded lol.

She then wanted to know if someone was going to come and clean up her bathroom because it was the food that did it. She was completely irate and serious about this too. She was even willing to bring in pictures of it to prove it. I had to try my hardest not to laugh. I told her no one was going to clean her bathroom for her and to go to a doctor because it might be something more serious. She refused to go to a doctor and just wanted someone to come clean up her bathroom.

Now mind you if she had serious food poisoning, she would not have been able to be so angry and energetic on the phone. She had no nausea or anything. Just shit her pants, or all over the bathroom rather.
I don't know if this was a scam of hers, a joke or what. But she did call up another Friendly's near by and complained to that manager as well about it. The other manager called me about it and we had a good laugh about it.

[RaTix]

OK here is the Whopper of them all. Listen to the attached file and you tell me what was going on. Don't worry it's short, as the tech had to hang up horrified after realizing wtf was happening.

[Kamui]

Whoa damn! LOL

[fromunda]

LOL Ratix, thats funny about the lady that shit up her bathroom. my 1st job when I was still in high school was at Old Country(crusty)Buffet and for some reason people think that just because its an all you can eat you have to eat till you get sick or shit all over the place. One time someone came back to the dish room and said there was a little mess in the mens room and needed someone to clean it. Me and another guy went to check it out and by little mass they must have meant it looked like someones ass exploded, like what I assume that ladys bathroom looked like. It was the handicapped stall and there was shit everywhere. Shit on the stall door, shit on the wall, shit on the hand rail and even some on the ceiling. We calmly walked back and informed the the kitchen manager that we made 40 cents over minimum wage and that wasnt enough to deal with that so it was either raise time or he was on his own.....he ended up cleaning that whole bathroom. He went in there looking like he was cleaning up a nuclear spill. I didnt know OCB had hazmat suits but thats what it looked like he was wearing. I know its not an ignorant customer story but Ratix story made me think of that.

[Andy]

Holy shit Ratix! That was messed up!

[I Th3Ewok I]

Oh man, every single one of these stories made me almost fall out of my chair, Fromunda actually going to the OCB that you are talking to made me picture that even more. HOLY SHIT!

[fromunda]

@ Th3Ewok - It was the one across from the Crossroads mall in Portage, there were a few other instances of dumbassery but that was the funniest. I was there 1998-2000 so if you use to come in there Im sure you saw me, I did everything but cashier.

[I Th3Ewok I]

@ Th3Ewok - It was the one across from the Crossroads mall in Portage, there were a few other instances of dumbassery but that was the funniest. I was there 1998-2000 so if you use to come in there Im sure you saw me, I did everything but cashier.

I'm sure we have crossed paths. I never went there as often as my uncle who would go there every day for dinner and get kicked out all of the time for being a dick and sexually harassing the girls who worked there.